LONELY AND ALONE

About a week now I had this argument with my sister that pointed out an habit of mine that I had to work on, I told her I will work on and so help me God, Amen. This led me to thinking about this particular subject, these two words. On that note let’s get into it. ALONE AND LONELY.

I first came about the difference between these two words in a church context talking about relationships. But first, let’s all go to the oxford dictionary

Lonely: sad because one has no friends or company, solitary

Alone: on one’s own; by oneself, isolated and lonely (I DON’T AGREE WITH THE LAST TWO)

The difference between these two words in the church context I talked of was expressed in the fact that one could be alone and happy while it was impossible to be lonely and happy and every single person needs to know how to be happy alone, only then can you be happy with anyone. If that’s up for debate I don’t know, that’s another day’s subject. Here and now I just want to spot the differences between these two states of a person.

Lonely, you don’t choose loneliness, it finds you. I remember a song by Westlife, ‘loneliness is always looking for a friend, it found me once and has been with me since then’, and then in the chorus he chants ‘get out of my life’. Point is, to be lonely is that one thing no one wants. Everyone reaches out in some way, like me blogging right now, through a rally, by loving an undeserving one, rallies on the street for your voice to be heard, facebooking, tweeting and many others

Alone, you choose to be alone, sometimes one needs isolation, a retreat from the buzz, it a time to look inwards to reflect, to reminisce. We choose to be alone so we can be in our space, so we can think clearly, rid ourselves of all the doubts that the world throws at us every day, to see things in the right perspective so u can act on what you know and not what you feel.

Lonely, you are on your own, with no one to count on, you look through all the contacts on your phone and there is not one person you feel or know you could call on, not a shoulder to lean on, puts you in a state of despair with all the negative emotions a man could ever think of feeling (envy, sadness, jealousy).

Alone, you are isolated but when you look inside of you, you find people who have overtime become part of your heart that you can call on and lean on. Lessons learnt that have become anchors, foundations that we can hinge unto.

Lonely, you are sad; there is an emptiness that yearns to be filled. And can only be filled by that specific thing you seek.

Alone, you are sad and you find happiness on your inside, you are happy and it springs from your inside.

Loneliness is never a solution, but alone is a solution a lot of times.

The first reference to alone is at creation where God said it is not good that man should be alone. So weather it’s lonely or alone, they are both not good.

No man should feel lonely at any point in his life; he should be able to count on someone at every point.

But sometimes, not every time, we need alone. To be able to pause, drain out the voices in our head and look inside because the best things in life come from our inside, the things God put on the inside of us.

Personally, I know how to be alone, not sure if I know how to be alone and be happy as I want to be though(I know I used to, but I’m not sure about now), I've been blessed never to be lonely, by God’s grace I have always found a shoulder to lean on in Him or someone He put in my life. So I’m about to learn to be alone and be happy while at it.

At this point I’ll say this, we live in a world where it’s easy to become lonely and never find time to be alone. I’ll say this:

Are you Alone or lonely?

GET LONELINESS OUT OF YOUR LIFE BUT LEARN TO BE ALONE SOMETIMES AND STILL BE HAPPY.